


silence preaching my blame

by orphan_account



Category: Skins
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-06-25
Updated: 2007-06-25
Packaged: 2017-10-11 16:23:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/114317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michelle fights.</p>
            </blockquote>





	silence preaching my blame

She's known, inside, hidden beneath the feelings of self-preservation and ambition that have kept her going for so long. She's known that Tony was fucking around, because how could she not? Not just once he left her sitting at a party while he vanished for an hour or two, not just once they went to a bar with him promising he'd take her back home after - vain promises.

She always thought she was special, though. It didn't matter, those bits and pieces; those she could push out of her conscious mind, fool herself into believing they weren't happening. Because she was special, she was the one he always returned to; she was the one who got more from him than anyone else had ever seen.

It's strange how one look into another person's eyes can make your world shift.

Maxxie is different from them all. It's got nothing to do with his cock, nothing at all to do with his looks or his sexuality. But the moment she sees Tony kiss him - not like he kissed Abigail, not at all, but with something in his eyes. It makes her heart stop in her chest, because...

because there's desire in Tony's eyes.

It's in the way he moves around Maxxie, like a hunter circling its prey, but less aggressive, more persuasive, gently, like he's trying to lure a skittish doe. It's like something in Maxxie, some kind of trait, one single drop of personality, has called to him, touched a chord, and he has to have it at all costs.

It that which hurt so much, millions of little crystals screeching over a floor of glass.

It's something else, with Maxxie, like Tony is longing to see more of that pain that Anwar has caused, a perverse fascination with Maxxie's anguish about a broken friendship. Or maybe it's pedestrian enough - that he's fallen in love, finally, with agonized eyes that beg him for help when Tony cannot offer himself, ever, just destroy and lie and betray.

That trust, maybe, a trust Michelle has never been able to place in him. Love, yes, she loved him, more than anything, but trust she's refused him forever.

Maxxie gives it far too easily. She knows already, watching them, seeing evolution. She sees how he gives in, raising of his chin, exposing his throat, looking at Tony with a wonder she remembers feeling the first time she saw Tony, because he is so special.

It's over, she realizes. Her heart starts pounding again, loud in her ears, rage and bitterness, because Maxxie has taken her last defense against the inevitable, has shown her that reality has never existed the way she's seen it, a warped mirror shape that was only ever in her head.

And this is why, for a little while, she hates him, has to hate him, before she can grow thankful, maybe, some day, when she's grown up.

~*~

~~ _written in July 2007_


End file.
